His Reflection

As I stared at his perfect reflection through the display window

It was like time stood still for what felt like an eternity

I was frozen in the moment

I had a thousand thoughts running through my head,

Appearing in my head and fleeting just as quickly…

“It was never meant to happen like this!”

“Why today of all days?”

As I stood there with my brain running like a Gatwick Express train

My heart started to beat faster and faster until I could hardly hear myself think

I should have walked away then and there but I continued to stare at his perfect reflection

I mean what had it been like five years?

Five long years of wondering how he been,

The company he was keeping,

If he ever did achieve his dream of making it on the team

Thoughts of whether I ever crossed his mind every now and then

Or had I become a distant memory that had filtered so far away from his mind that he would barely even care if he pasted me on the street?

As I stared at his perfect reflection I saw a woman walking up to him and he stared back at her with those loving eyes that he use to look at me with

The pain was too much too bare yet I continued to stare…

It was like I was 21 again and he was my drug all over again

His presence was like that high that I needed to keep me going

It kept me in that place

Something that ran so deeply within my veins the very thought of ever being separated from him took me to another place

That place…That place…!

That mind numbing place.

That one that would shallow me so intensely

The concept of survival without it seemed like a lion being separated from its cub

Or the pitiful cries of a mother losing its child

Intense right?

But that was the effect he had on me

My love for him ran so deeply

It was like I was addicted to him…

Every single part of him

How had I got to this point?

Infuriated by my weakness

In a trance by my delusion

Because you see as I stood there staring at his perfect reflection

Remembering all the times we had shared

I just wanted him to love me again

Where was I meant to go from here?

How could I go on from here?

I needed him to love me again

Just like I had planned…